My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"




A quote has never summarized so accurately my current state of mind.

Many have asked me to write and explain what I am experiencing here, what is this place like? It's people, it's food, the climate, my work, the smells, the sounds, what IS Africa to me? I can tell you this much, it has taken until now for everything to stop being so sensually overwhelming that I can even step back and reflect upon it all. I haven't had even one spare minute to ponder and then convey to you, the reader, what I have been experiencing.

I was hit with my first sadness yesterday. The first time walking down Villa Road in a small sub-town of Masaka called Nyendo (a gross overstatement but Nyendo is Manhattan's Brooklyn, and not the current trendy hipster Brooklyn, the Brooklyn of yore, the seedy underbelly yet lively lifeblood of the citie's true people. The place where all the common workers go home, the place that doesn't even wake up until dark). Where all the small shops selling everything from clothing and shoes, to bread and sweets didn't overwhelm me with wonder at how these people live day to day. How the scores of children following me down my mile or so walk waka (home) screaming “Bye Mzungu! (white person)” didn't bring a smile to my face due to their unbridled optimism and total cheerfulness as they ran the streets sometimes barefoot in fraying school uniforms. Instead I saw for the first time what they were really saying and heard the second request, they have been taught from a young age to call out such because Mzungu doesn't just mean white person, it means money, for the second question bubbling right behind their impossibly white smiles is “You give me money.” Not a request, a demand.

This country and it's culture, thats what it does in a lot of ways, it demands. Even the vernacular used in every day questions is always in the form of a demand: “We move now,” “You eat,” “You want sleep.” The oddity of it all is that the people are incredibly non-confrontational. Want to make a Ugandan uncomfortable? Ask him what he thinks, ask him a direct question, ask him to tell you how he sees things as they really are: “Life is good!” “Fine fine, and you?” “Of course I support Museveni, he is our ruler.” They say this as their grandfather is laying sick at home dying, as a neighbor and good friend was shot last month by police for no discernible reason for driving his taxi with a few extra people squeezed inside for an extra 50 cents worth of fare, as the scars from riots still show on building walls and more importantly in the minds of the people.

This is what I have been waiting to uncover, waiting for the Siren song to end and my rose tinted mental image to crash on the shores of reality, to truly understand the term TIA (this is Africa). Africa is beautiful, heartrendingly beautiful. It's landscape is stunning, lush and green with two growing seasons a year. It's culture rich and deep, music pulses at all time of the day keeping cadence with your heartbeat, singers belting out in English and Luganda tales of everyday life mixed with hopes for the future. Usually you'll also hear tossed in American hip hop which personifies the wish of many of the young (but thats not all, wait till you're in a taxi and Celine Dion or Willie Nelson comes on the radio and everyone sings along, I plan to write a whole post on music culture). The ultimate beauty of Uganda is it's people. Beautiful, ugly, proud, shy, intelligent, humble, ignorant, hardworking, entrepreneurial, optimistic, sad, full of hope and life people. I am falling for Uganda, but as with any love throes, myriad emotions attack me and sooth me at all times. So in essence, Thomas Merton couldn't have described my current reality more accurately.

God Knows...

Rant

I'm going to deviate here for a second to talk about a few things that woke me up with a burning fire of frustration. A frustration of modern culture and “awareness” campaigns, let's first start with modern culture and modern economics (whether they be Keynsian or Friedman). Economics preaching ever expanding production and growth in a world of limited resources, working to accumulate as much as possible in the name of progress. As summed up by E.F. Schumacher:

“That soul-destroying, meaningless, mechanical, monotonous, moronic work is an insult to human nature which must necessarily and inevitably produce either escapism or aggression, and that no amount of "bread and circuses" can compensate for the damage done – these are facts which are neither denied nor acknowledged but are met with an unbreakable conspiracy of silence – because to deny them would be too obviously absurd and to acknowledge them would condemn the central preoccupation of modern society as a crime against humanity.”

We are seeing it played out day after day in interpersonal relationships to international relations, the struggle to dominate resources: land, oil, minerals, labor, attention, time, publicity, beauty, fame, love(lust).

This perceived accumulation of progress is actually destroying our civilization as it is demoralizing and dehumanizing our culture with its costing of our basic dignity and spirituality. The extremes of which I see in the States where everything has its price, and in Africa where poverty is so rampant that cost is almost an alien thing, at least in the sense of the intangible, such as “time is money”.

Lest you think I am an ant-capitalist communist sympathizer I am 100% for social capitalism, or third wave economics, or triple bottom line business. In fact I am devoting my life to see its adoption globally. We CAN value our lives appropriately. I am here in Africa and yes I want to develop business, jobs, manufacturing, resources used for creation of goods, but I'm trying to do it in a way that is responsible to the future generations and current populations. Again Schumacher:

…one of the most fateful errors of our age is the belief that the problem of production has been solved. The illusion…is mainly due to our inability to recognize that the modern industrial system, with all its intellectual sophistication, consumes the very basis on which it has been erected. To use the language of the economist, it lives on irreplaceable capital which it cheerfully treats as income.

And what is my case? Simply that our most important task is to get off our present collision course. And who is there to tackle such a task? I think every one of us, whether old or young, powerful or powerless, rich or poor, influential or un-influential...

…it is not a question of choosing between "modern growth" and "traditional stagnation." It is a question of finding the right path of development, the Middle Way between materialist heedlessness and traditionalist immobility…

To talk about the future is useful only if it leads to action now. “

The second frustration is “awareness campaigns.” Who hasn't heard their mother either say in seriousness or you're friends say in jest, “clear your plate, remember the starving kids in Africa!” We are aware of tragedy, we are aware of poverty, we are aware of injustice, in fact we have been so bombarded by incessant “awareness” campaigns that we have become desensitized to them. Awareness without direct ties to action are a waste of time and money, in my opinion they are there to glorify the creator of the campaign instead of tying awareness directly to help on the ground.

There ARE companies fighting this, examples include 147 Million Orphans, Tom's shoes, Pophetik clothing, Patagonia, and Oliberte. Channeling direct assistance to those in need through sustainable for profit business models. Awareness is also proven on the ground as countless NGO's, CBOs, Development Organizations, NPO's, SACCO's, microfinance institutions, churches (Amazima Ministries), and schools are all here WORKING on the ground. Why not stop being aware of nebulous things like “poverty”, “hunger”, and “aids” and become aware of the organizations that are fighting those ills on the ground. Take action, donate money not to an awareness campaign, but directly to an organization on the ground. Stop making movies and books about the problems, take action, open your wallet, quit your job, realize a moral, spiritual, and human duty to give up materialistic wants (not needs) and do something, we are well aware of what there is to do but what do we fear in doing so?

For my Christian brothers and sisters living the high life I'll throw in the obligatory quotes we hear time and time again but do we take action?

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." -Matthew 6:24

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'" -Matthew 19:23-24

"Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'" -Matthew 19:21

And I leave you with my favorite joke about Bono (published academic journal article of why the (RED) campaign is detrimental after the jump), the ultimate mega money awareness guru:

“At a U2 concert in Ireland , Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone...."I want you to think about something. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice from the front of the audience yells out...."Then stop clapping, ya asshole!"

Long overdue

Sorry for the long overdue blog post but as you can imagine I have been incredibly busy experiencing what has so far been: Uganda. How could I possibly synthesize all the sights, sounds, smells, experiences, encounters, work, and people into a single blog post? I simply can't. What I will attempt to do is write photo blogs and little snipets of different aspects of my experiences here over the time I am here. Let it suffice to say that I have much to tell and all of it is through the lens of God and the fullfilment of the percieved wants and needs of the development for a better life for the people of Uganda. That is what I feel I have been shown to be my purpose here so far. I will try to update at least once a week. Hopefully I will be honored enough for you, the reader, to stop by once in awhile and share your thoughts and discuss with me what is happenning here and in the wider world...

As they say here, God knows...

Severan

Why am I doing this?

Getting ready to leave I have been bombarded with a million and one thoughts, emotions, questions, fears, and doubts. Having transitioned out of both of my jobs I have now been blessed/cursed with some time to ruminate on them, those who know me will agree that idle time is not a good thing for me. I will attempt to describe some of what I've been going through in the next few blog posts.

The question that confuses me most but seems to confuse others equally as much is "why are you doing this?" The answer to this question lies within a journey that started many years ago, a journey that has fundamenatly changed my entire world view and what place I hold within it.

What seems like another lifetime ago I lived a life of selfish consumption. I had no concept of caring for others. I remember my parent's asking me "Do you think the world revolves around you?" I would immediately think "Well, yes!" I couldn't comprehend why it wouldn't. I constantly sought what I could wrest from of life taking from others, basking in the unnatural light of my own perceived glory.

I was driven by character defects, chief amongst those being pride and greed. Blazing through people's lives like an all consuming wildfire leaving nothing but burnt bridges and ruined relationships in my wake.

This all changed when my mother passed away about 5 years ago after a 2 years battle with cancer. I had hit bottom with no friends, no where to turn, and worst of all no hope. I did something I had never done before, I reached out for help, I fearfully hit my knees and for the first time in my life I asked for God to come into my life. Funny thing I learned about that, when asked he comes, and hang on for the ride!

The next few years of my life I struggled just to climb out of the deep emotional, monetary, and relational hole I had been digging for the previous 20 some odd years. The fog of my mind slowly cleared and I began to build a working and conscious relationship with God. I thought I had ruined my professional life and was resigned to working manual labor until a boss at the time at a construction project advised me I needed to finish college.

I learned of Belmont University's Adult degree program where I could earn my full BBA and their admittance criteria was based on other factors besides previous school's gpa, a stellar 1.67 from the University of Arizona. On a hope and a prayer Belmont accepted my application and at the same time I began shaping my life according to spiritual principles and ideals.

I knew I had been given a second chance and this newfound relationship with God required of me to become obedient to his will rather than my own. I settled on an overarching principle from which I would shape my life, to be of maximum service to God and my fellow man. But what exactly does that entail? What is maximum service mean? What is God's idea of maximum? How could i be of service? Further thought on these questions in combination with constant work on my character defects led me to consider turning these traits to the good by putting to use the business skills i was acquiring. Focusing on international economics, poverty issues began to greatly intrigue me. Here was an area where I could turn my intense desire for wealth creation into a powerful force to radically change the lives of many for the good. It became the primary focus of my studies in and outside of the classroom.

More to come later....

Dear Friends and Family

I have recently been accepted to a competitive internship program with the Foundation for Sustainable Development. Founded in 1995, the Foundation supports the efforts of grassroots organizations in the developing world that are working to better their communities, environments, and economic opportunities around them through dedicated volunteer efforts. Winner of the 2009 Green Choice Award given by Great Non-Profits an organization that vets, rates, and reviews non-profit organizations world wide FSD is the leader in sustainable international development training.

This October, I will be traveling to Masaka, Uganda to begin an intensive training internship where I will learn sustainability skills through field placement. Some of the potential assignments I will have on the ground will be:to help micro-entrepreneurs increase sales and profitability; researching and implementing sustainable farming solutions and alternative income-generating activities; or establishing peer education networks to distribute information and resources. I am very excited about this opportunity to both learn and serve before I continue my academic growth pursuing a Master of Arts in the Economics of International Development. My previous award-winning undergraduate studies at Belmont University in Business Administration and International Economics and my current local work of volunteering and social enterprise development has guided me to seek a placement in sub-Saharan Africa, where billions of dollars in foreign aid winds up wasted due to the lack of a sustainable economic infrastructure.

As part of this exciting service learning experience, I have pledged to raise $10,000.00 for the Foundation. Your generous contribution provides FSD with a committed, enthusiastic, trained and hard-working volunteer: me! To give you an idea of how your donation will be used:

$274.25 will get me 1,000 miles closer to Uganda. So, 9 donations of $236.45 will cover the cost of my airfare!

$437.84 will cover the cost of the Specialty Risk International health insurance

$500.00 will provide the initial seed grant to my host organization

$1450.00 will cover the cost of the FSD homestay, which includes room and board

$2200.00 will cover the cost of my trainings

If you join me in this endeavor, I will send you a weekly newsletter and you will be invited to a special presentation when I return. Additionally, all donations are 100% tax deductible. I understand that during this tough economic time that some of your charitable contributions for the year may already be earmarked, but understand that every little bit -even $50- helps tremendously!

I welcome your support and encouragement. If you have any questions about my program, about the Foundation for Sustainable Development, or about Uganda, please do not hesitate to contact me directly at Tyler.In.Uganda@gmail.com or (615) 983-0267. Thank you in advance for helping to make this extraordinary experience possible. I look forward to sharing it with you when I return.

Thank you and best regards,

Tyler Severan Johnson

Foundaition for sustainable development

Visit my Host organization

www.fsdinternational.org

5 star rated and Winner of Great NonProfit's 2009 Green Choice award!

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Welcome and Hello!

This blog will detail my fund raising efforts and then my training in Masaka Uganda! Stay tuned for more updates!

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